how fucking depressing
I haven’t felt so low in so long. I know he’s playing games and making me wait so I hurt just like he thinks I hurt him, but it’s still getting to me. He’s all high and mighty, and seeming not to give any kind of a shit about me. I hope that I - and others - am right, and he DOES actually miss me.
If they are there on Sunday I’ll be very upset, but have to soldier on.
Think of your future, Lucie. Not the past. Even if it keeps rearing it’s disgusting beard at you.
WHY IS HE MAKING IT SO HARD
JUST FUCKING TALK TO ME
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
I JUST WANT TO FIX UP THE LOOSE ENDS AND LEAVE
IF YOU WANT AN APOLOGY YOU CAN HAVE IT
I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN AND MAKE PEACE WITH YOU LIKE ADULTS
Therapy is so good for me. I’m glad I’m doing it, and I’m really proud of my progress so far.
The only thing bugging me is how much I miss Caleb. I know I need to let go to move forward, and yet I’m craving his presence and love, 24/7. What I wouldn’t give for a hug from him. Or even some sign of him caring and missing me.
I AM NOT OKAY WITHOUT YOU
I WANT TO SCREAM AND SLIT MY WRISTS AND DRINK MYSELF INTO A COMA WITHOUT YOU
i’m surprisingly okay without him
i like to think he misses me and wants me back
i hate it
i want to die again
You don’t have to be sane if you’re dead.
My heart hurts
Feels like I’ve been shot
Right in the ticker
some of my friends have really awful parents and i wish i could punch their parents in the gut and then take my friends somewhere where they can be happy and not have to worry about the bs they have to put up with
this is what my friends say to me
I am sad because Caleb doesn’t talk to me nicely like he does with everyone else.
In other news, I really really really love Katie. She makes me feel safe, and worthwhile.